We Microchip pets, now we Microchips ourselves

No matter how we look at it (or scream), the wave to microchipping humans is coming!

It all started in 1998, when distinguished British scientist Kevin Warwick "Caption Cyborg" experimentally used the implants wired to his nervous system to open doors, switch on lights, adjust heat, access computer with a wave of his hand. He uses himself as a guinea pig to test various other new technologies on himself, vowing to leave his human self behind to become a cyborg. He's one crazy, crazy man. Brilliant, but crazy. BBC also wondered, "Crazed Scientist or Gifted Visionary?"

Companies took notice and by 2002, VeriChip Corporation got the green light from FDA to start microchipping humans. Its use is generally medical, containing only data about the person's medical history, general identification, personal contacts, medicines, allergies, etc. In case of a medical emergency, when one cannot inform ER doctors about medications and medical history, doctors can use a special chip scanner to scan the person's chip for critical and life-saving information in seconds. But due to the unencrypted nature of the microchip, there is a real threat of ill-meaning people that can hack into and steal chip information. Maybe they can scan for your allergies and then sprinkle that into your food? Or find out you have a pacemaker and throw you a giant magnet? The possibilities are limitless!

Other things that are possible with the chip that might (or is) happen in the future: VeriChip Corporation and RECEPTORS LLC just announced in October 2009 that chips are developed to detect if you get the swine flu and/or seasonal flu, it will detect and remind you to take your medications, and in the future, grab-and-go shopping, brain chipping, even telepathy!! Thoughts beware!

We already have the technology to use the chip implants as a credit card to conveniently pay for items or GPS-trackable, we just have to get past the masses and masses of protesting people like human rights groups and civil liberty groups in order to do so. Hey what year is it? 1984? Yeah sounds like it.

Here is the advertisement VeriChip put out to promote the chip:


It's really hard to not see all the crazy people, mind control theories out there. Video 1 of 5:


Even better- More recently, in 2007 Hitachi RFID microchip unveiled the world's smallest and thinnest RFID microchip measuring in at 0.05 x 0.05 millimeters! It's so small that it can be embedded in paper; or when there's a riot, the police can just sprinkle it around and then track us down one by one!

Short & Sweet Feature: Petri-dish brain cells can fly airplanes!

In 2004, Thomas DeMarse, a biomedical engineer at the University of Florida in Gainesville, created a experiment to study how brain cells connect and compute by growing 25,000 rat brain neuron cells in a petri dish and connecting it to a flight simulator/computer game. It started to fly the airplane!

"... as the neurons begin to receive information from the computer about flight conditions—similar to how neurons receive and interpret signals from each other to control our bodies—the brain gradually learns to fly the aircraft."

Rat brain cells flying a simulated aircraft?! From a petri-dish?! Sweet Jenkins, this might as well be the first "rat" to fly an aircraft! What's next? Trans-continental rat pilots?! Yes, said National Geographic's article, this type of technology can be developed for things such as flying pilot-less aircraft, or handle tasks that are dangerous to humans like rescue missions or bomb assessment situations. This technology can also help NASA in exploring alien planets too, as they currently have to calculate immense amounts of code just to drive the mechanical explorers a few feet a day. With a brain on board, there wouldn't be a need for teams to manually translate movement to computer code everyday.

Our future:

"Neural network research may be setting the stage for the creation of so-called hybrid computers based on biological systems. [Although] silicon-based computers are very accurate and fast at processing some kinds of information, they have none of the flexibility of the human brain."

Brains in our machines! BRAINNS! Imagine the possibilities! The Jetsons, iRobot! And what if they turn against us? There are murmurs out there that the 3 laws of Robotics (devised by Isaac Asimov for our protection) can be bent. In fact, last month it is found that robots can evolve abilities to lie- even when they are originally not designed to. (Read more about this @ PopSci)

Well, if things do get out of control and humanity is on the brink of complete domination by mind-machines, let's engineer a virus called "Hordes of Zombies" and release it upon them mind-machines! Nom nom nom. Brains.

Ma why is there a head sitting there staring at me?

Egads! Invisibility!

Ever wanted to be invisible? Maybe an embarrassing moment, like when we've spotted a certain attractive someone, turned to smile at them only to face-plant a wall? We've all been there (at least I have). At that very moment of face-to-stone contact and cascading realization, Invisibility seems the only way of escape. Not a pretty sight. Thankfully, scientists all over the world share our dream of Invisibility (face-planting is fun for nobody). With their dutiful research, we're well on our way! Relief!


Here is a low-down of a couple of the more newsworthy ones:

2003 Japan's Invisible Man

Oh Japan. Land of the crazy-ass inventions. Gotta love them for it. Engineer Susumu Tachi of Tokyo University created a system that makes anyone wearing a "special reflective material" seem to disappear with just the use of a video camera and projector.

Pretty simple. The video camera records real-life scenery behind him and transmits that image to a projector in front, which then shows up on his reflective alien-like cloak. Looks like a raincoat to me.

Watch the video, it's cooler to see it in action.

(via Time Magazine)

2006 Stealth Technology System (STS)

If there was anyone who needs Invisibility most, it would be the military. Think about it. If all our troops are invisible, all they need is handguns. Better yet, an inglorious bat. Save the country billions and billions (Hello debt-free!). No wait- even better- swift hands with a black bag and rope: no bloodshed.Ta-da! Goodbye War! Ooh, do I get a Nobel Prize for that?

In 2006, Inventor Dr. Rashid Zeineh (Dr. Z, awesome name) at Advanced American Enterprise (AAE) in Fullerton California developed tech enabling person to 85-100% invisibility down to 20 feet! Now that's hella close.


Dr. Z dubbed the shiny new technology "Stealth Technology System" (STS) (but can also be known as optical camouflage, or adaptive camouflage, or active camouflage, or chameleonic camouflage, or cloaking technology... they can't make up their minds). The announcement made quite a ruckus in the defense industry. So how does it work? Sadly no one knows because it's a military secret. According to Stealth Technology System's website, you can get your very own cloak within 4 months for $16,000. That information is not very secret. So with the unsecret price of $2,800 per dog, $29,000 per Hummer, $49,000 per plane or tank, and $59,000 per speed boat. Something smells fishy. Anyway, if I was a billionaire I'll make my own invisible island. Take that snooty rich people! My island is invisible, what can yours do?!

(via Defense Review)

2007 Single Wavelength Invisibility Cloak

Why does it look more and more like Twilight Zone as years go by? According to the scientists at Purdue University, they are using the power of mathematics to bend light around target objects, making it look invisible.

"[the design] uses an array of tiny needles radiating outward from a central spoke. The design, which resembles a round hairbrush, would bend light around the object being cloaked." Purdue.

"For this we have to first understand the phenomenon by which we can see objects. Actually we see objects when the light falling on these objects is reflected back from their surfaces and hits our eye. Now if we can develop a device that does not reflect light back from the object then we will not be able to see the object. This can be compared to glass as we cannot see glass in light as it does not reflect light back to us. " Science Ahead.

What and what? All I see is hairbrush, cones and and light rays bending around water glasses- all with the power of mathematics. Well if that's the case, can the power of math help me bend around sound waves of annoying roomates?

(via Purdue University News & Science Ahead)

So when can we get our little hands on this awesome invisibility ability? Not anytime soon, but eventually this technology will filter down for us to pounce on (avoiding face-plant is a powerful motivator). It's going to filter down sooner or later. So, time comes and you hear a cough in the shower, start spraying. Bullets I mean. Ask questions later.